Ultimate Kylie
August 31, 2008
NTSC / All Code pressing DVD featuring 32 videos, including I Should Be So Lucky’, ‘The Loco-Motion’, ‘Got To Be Certain’, ‘Spinning Around’, Breathe’ and more. Includes 2 bonus tracks ‘Sing-A-Long lyrics’ & ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’ (Brits performance). Virgin. 2004.
Customer Review: Warning: Kylie Turns Our Students Into Libertines!
Fellow Educators,
With Ultimate Kylie, we’re dealing with a problem that makes the so called “Summer of Love” in ‘67 seem like a cakewalk. Let me explain: I work at the University of California at Davis. In April 2006 some Drama students (they’re always pushing the boundaries) got their hands on a copy of Ultimate Kylie. Before I knew it, half the campus was “turned on.” 20 year old women were running around in gold shorts that barely covered their hind-quarters. And young men watching Kylie videos on their laptops - during class - “freak danced” students and female professors. The campus was teetering on sexual anarchy. We called in the student leaders to see what the heck was going on. The head cheerleader said that “everyone” knew Ultimate Kylie was “better than Spanish Fly” to get young men “pumped up” for “sex.” Something had to be done.
The administration had a contentious meeting, and most attendees wanted to confiscate all Ultimate Kylie DVDs. (The Drama chair and some fund raisers said they wanted to *hire* Kylie, for crying out loud).
I was opposed to the ban, as I knew of Kylie’s charity work. She’s a good egg - sprightly and spry. But sometimes she’s sassy, full of life and pushing the boundaries too far. She probably just needs an authority figure to keep her in line.
I told the administration I’d come up with an acceptable compromise. After watching the DVD 11 times in 24 hours, I took it to the tech team. With my notes and guidance, the techies edited Ultimate Kylie into an acceptable form. (Two male techies were moved to another project after they “freak danced” their female co-workers and the screen). Here’s my notes:
*** Whether Kylie is unaware of her powers (videos 1-9) or flaunting her plan to seduce our young people (videos 10-31), I find myself to be titillated and aroused by her lascivious fandangos. Photoshop a nice sweater and slacks over every frame of tank tops, “mini-dresses” and “Daisy Dukes.” ***
We showed “Ultimate Kylie: New and Improved” to a student focus group. And, you guessed it folks, participants’ key words were “sexy,” “sex,” and “homina, homina, homina.” Kylie’s “mojo” came through the sweater loud and clear. She’s a feisty one!
The administration went to Plan B and offered a deal: All students who turned in their original copy of “Ultimate” would get the latest Madonna DVD *and* a $30.00 Toys R Us gift certificate. So far, two male cheerleaders have seen the light and made the trade. The rest of the students (now bolstered by the damn ACLU and some troublemakers from our sister campus Berkeley) refuse to give their copies up. Oh yeah, isn’t it GREAT to see young people stand for something. (That’s sarcasm, gang). After analyzing the original DVD like the Zapruder film, the administration believes this may be a battle that lasts beyond our lifetimes. (California has seen plenty of sex bombs come and go, but we’ve never dealt with mojo at Kylie’s level of sophistication). Shore up, folks.
On the plus side, students are wearing bright colors instead of those gray “hoodies” they liked so darn much. And the Chancellor just bought a yellow Ferrari. We can feel the bass from “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” all over the parking lot, for crying out loud. And we’re all for free speech, folks. With Ultimate Kylie, speech isn’t the problem - the lyrics are fine.
I close with a quote from Professor Worthington: “We are as Hemingway, battling the top marlin who won’t be reeled in.” Kylie will yank you and crank you! Hang on tight!
Customer Review: Ultimate Kylie.
Ultimate Kylie indeed !
You couldn’t ask for a better collection of Kylie’s videos from throughout her career.
Very entertaining and enjoyable to watch.
Great buy for any fan of Kylie. Buy from here…
This site offers tips and guides how to open a community book club.
